We floated like water
unknowingly in our sweet reverie,
but we were tinder
that caught fire,
which plunged us into misery.
We fondly wish it had not happened, for the flood of pain was, and still may be, maddening. Even if we heal, we remain scarred forever; even in the brightest shine, there is a flitting shadow here and there. We rightfully feel that it is “not right”
But... it is the deepest pain that can lead us to become our highest Self should we possess enough strength to undergo such an inner transformation.. Pain can be alchemized into power, the greatness of the former being directly proportional to that of the latter. There is a Sufi prayer that says, "Break my heart into thousands of pieces so that it can be filled with endless love." We wish to be safe, despite which we cannot remain closed to the world, as only with the open heart can we be loving.
This too is part of our becoming whom we are now; such is the path we have taken; such is our destination: Here we come as such and we cannot "unbe" so. We would be different if it had not happened the way it did, not necessarily better off ‒ temporarily happier perhaps, but likely poorer in spirit too. We would not have reached as far as here ‒ where we are predestined to be.
It is not about the negation of reality ‒ it is about re-focus on inner growth and wisdom; about the finding of some meaning even in dark places as we shine our inner light upon them. It is baptism by fire, but one through which we will be reborn.
Inner trials are immeasurable and individual, thus futile are efforts to measure them objectively. My heartbreak or trauma may be devalued in uncompassionate eyes that regard it as "no big deal", but still it is my reality that reserves, with due empathy and understanding, such recognition.
Therefore, rest assured, I say so with utmost respect and compassion for people and that which they must have gone through. I know what suffering is and so do I know that no-one wants to suffer, thus I deeply feel for all sufferers. I, being but a humble one, do not imagine triumphing over all ‒ I just refuse the victim mentality that would only render my hands tied.
The mythical Phoenix rose from its own ashes as a transformed, new being, which, to me, is a great symbol of a sufferance that has lead to greatness. Alas, not all rise... But can we rise? Yes, we can! Whatever exists or happens is what it is, but it is our perception of it that predetermines how we perceive it, and thus it will appear to us. Who or what determines what is or is not beyond us? We ourselves do! Let us stay strong!
Should you rise, like I have risen, from the ashes of your own life, you will discover that...
not even annihilation is the very end, as from the incinerated a new life shall spring;
there exist no irretrievable losses, for any loss is followed by renewal;
neither do bad events last for eternity but strengthen one for self-advancement.
Änd so find in yourself the faith in continuation, courage and resolve to go on;
find in yourself the strength to live and you will soar like a Phoenix high above!
That is, yours is a brave heart!
Phoenix Rising © Ladanseuse
Transl. "Fenixův vzlet", written 2020 - 2021